I attract the crazies. Really, I think I do. They come out of the woodwork to find me, most recently while I was browsing the mascara selection at Target. Completely minding my own business, debating between the 'Falsies' and 'Stiletto' lash mascara (definitely 'Falsies'), a man approached me and introduced himself, saying that he was conducting a survey of sorts. I don't care. He then asked me if I considered God to be a man or a woman. He had my attention. First of all, no one typically speaks openly of religion on Long Island, especially in the makeup section of Target. Secondly, religious discussions are often the most intriguing for me to be a part of. I grew up in a small town that is heavily influenced by the Christian Reformed beliefs. The majority of answers to religious questioning are not up for interpretation, but rather given, backed by reasoning and facts. After almost 21 years of that, hearing others' opinions and beliefs is always interesting.
The tech savvy missionary had his iphone ready to go, whipping open the Scriptures before I even had a chance to gather my scattered religious opinions. He flipped through Genesis, Romans, and Revelations, reading me his virtually highlighted passages that suggested God to be a multiple, and representation of both the male and female gender. While he was spewing off his religious propaganda, I was cursing my adolescent self, thinking, "...shit. This is what all of my private high school teachers spoke of preparing us for, and I have absolutely no idea of how to back up my argument." And then it dawned on me...I was searching for the reasoning and facts that back up everything the Christian Reformed belief represents, yet the last four years have been a struggle of whether or not I truly believe in it. I was stressing over my argumentative response out of pure habit - I really had no idea how to begin disputing the information this techie missionary was spewing off. Nor did I really care to.
For four years, I've questioned my faith. I've evaluated my own religious opinion, compared it to that of the beliefs I was brought up in, and was left ready to throw anything to do with the church out the window. It turns out, all I needed was a nerdy, pushy, make-up isle missionary to force me into stating what I genuinely believe. But before I could say anything, I had to shut the guy up. I was ready to buy my 'Falsies' mascara and get the hell out of Target. I put all tact aside, and bluntly informed the man people like him were the reason Christians have the rep of being religious lunatics. We're in the make-up isle of Target for god's sake, and people are staring. After I made my opening statement, I was on a roll. I understand the important concept of missionary work, but while you (the techie missionary) attempted to persuade one person to consider your own beliefs, you caused eight random by-standers to confirm their assumptions of Christians being crazy. Aside from that, why does it matter. Why is it so important to debate whether God is a man, or a woman, or both. Why does the Christian religion have to be so divided by technicalities they insist on emphasizing, when the beliefs are essentially similar.
I want nothing to do with the technicalities. Those technicalities are what make me want to throw in the towel when it comes to religion. Instead, I'm going to refer to the wise words of big brother Bogger, who probably doesn't even remember saying this. It was literally years ago, so long I don't even remember the conversation that prompted it, but after voicing my wonders and questions about God, he simply stated, "Leah, it's not about religion, it's about a relationship."And that is exactly what I said to conclude my earth-shattering argument in the make-up isle. I have no interest in the detailed arguments, scrutinizing every word in the Bible. I really don't care whether you perceive God as a man, woman, both, or neither. I'm going to focus on what I believe for myself, and you should do the same. If a solid relationship with your God is not established, none of it matters anyways.
Living in an environment drastically different from the one I grew up in has forced me to reconsider everything I was taught, establishing what I'm going to hold on to...what is truly important to me. Edges may be blurred, beliefs vague, and opinions a little less specific, but there's something about the roots of your faith that you just can't stray from. And what I've realized after living in New York is that those roots are different for everyone. There are people who grew up in a religious setting such as my hometown, with totally different beliefs, and who am I to judge them. Though I may not be able to spew off a list of my own religious specifications, there is one belief I can share with you. Techie Missionary may have chosen an inappropriate time and place, but he did bring me to some of my own important conclusions I've been searching for for so long. That, my friends, can only be the the work of God.
The tech savvy missionary had his iphone ready to go, whipping open the Scriptures before I even had a chance to gather my scattered religious opinions. He flipped through Genesis, Romans, and Revelations, reading me his virtually highlighted passages that suggested God to be a multiple, and representation of both the male and female gender. While he was spewing off his religious propaganda, I was cursing my adolescent self, thinking, "...shit. This is what all of my private high school teachers spoke of preparing us for, and I have absolutely no idea of how to back up my argument." And then it dawned on me...I was searching for the reasoning and facts that back up everything the Christian Reformed belief represents, yet the last four years have been a struggle of whether or not I truly believe in it. I was stressing over my argumentative response out of pure habit - I really had no idea how to begin disputing the information this techie missionary was spewing off. Nor did I really care to.
For four years, I've questioned my faith. I've evaluated my own religious opinion, compared it to that of the beliefs I was brought up in, and was left ready to throw anything to do with the church out the window. It turns out, all I needed was a nerdy, pushy, make-up isle missionary to force me into stating what I genuinely believe. But before I could say anything, I had to shut the guy up. I was ready to buy my 'Falsies' mascara and get the hell out of Target. I put all tact aside, and bluntly informed the man people like him were the reason Christians have the rep of being religious lunatics. We're in the make-up isle of Target for god's sake, and people are staring. After I made my opening statement, I was on a roll. I understand the important concept of missionary work, but while you (the techie missionary) attempted to persuade one person to consider your own beliefs, you caused eight random by-standers to confirm their assumptions of Christians being crazy. Aside from that, why does it matter. Why is it so important to debate whether God is a man, or a woman, or both. Why does the Christian religion have to be so divided by technicalities they insist on emphasizing, when the beliefs are essentially similar.
I want nothing to do with the technicalities. Those technicalities are what make me want to throw in the towel when it comes to religion. Instead, I'm going to refer to the wise words of big brother Bogger, who probably doesn't even remember saying this. It was literally years ago, so long I don't even remember the conversation that prompted it, but after voicing my wonders and questions about God, he simply stated, "Leah, it's not about religion, it's about a relationship."And that is exactly what I said to conclude my earth-shattering argument in the make-up isle. I have no interest in the detailed arguments, scrutinizing every word in the Bible. I really don't care whether you perceive God as a man, woman, both, or neither. I'm going to focus on what I believe for myself, and you should do the same. If a solid relationship with your God is not established, none of it matters anyways.
Living in an environment drastically different from the one I grew up in has forced me to reconsider everything I was taught, establishing what I'm going to hold on to...what is truly important to me. Edges may be blurred, beliefs vague, and opinions a little less specific, but there's something about the roots of your faith that you just can't stray from. And what I've realized after living in New York is that those roots are different for everyone. There are people who grew up in a religious setting such as my hometown, with totally different beliefs, and who am I to judge them. Though I may not be able to spew off a list of my own religious specifications, there is one belief I can share with you. Techie Missionary may have chosen an inappropriate time and place, but he did bring me to some of my own important conclusions I've been searching for for so long. That, my friends, can only be the the work of God.
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